Invisible disabilities: sense and scentsability

I've felt a need to write about this, and it is very difficult. Three times, all around the holidays, I had difficulties with strong body odor. And truthfully, I didn't know it. But people around me did, and two out of three of the times, it was handled in a horribly cruel and hurtful manner. Invisible disabilities, we think of the many ways they impact our lives. This is one I would prefer had never happened, but it was due to the scrambled body chemistry I had going on in my late twenties and early thirties. If this is as far as you want to read, I understand, but I was talking about the chemical changes that these disabilities have caused, and realized that this is something that needs be said.

The first time I had an incident with unusual body odor, I was doing manual labor......I was a sail cutter in a well-known company's sail loft. I lived in a room, actually a basement, or the California equivalent of a basement. There was no kitchen, so I had an electric coffee pot and a hot plate. Bathroom and shower? Well, I had use of one inside the house...which meant going through the back yard and upstairs to the extra bathroom, regardless of the weather. I took a bus to the sail loft which, fortunately, was only a 15 minute trip for me. But my shopping and laundry were things I had to use the bus to take care of. In a pinch I could wash clothes in the bathroom and hang them on the shower over night without getting my landlords (who lived in the main house with at least one teenage son) upset with me. I was always up early (my shift started at seven a.m.) and showered every day. Because my parents had already sold their business and retired to another state, there was no running home and starting over. And in the midst of all that, the difficulties with body odor began. This wasn't just an "oops, forgot my deodorant" type of problem, nor was it a problem with hygiene, or my not caring; it was, as near as I have been able to pinpoint, the first incident of chemical imbalances. 

Back in the late seventies, when I was on the sail cutting table, most of the crew I worked with were stoners and surfers...I desperately needed a job, so I concentrated on my friendship with one of the sail sewers and her family. But on the cutting table, I was the odd man out, and tried to ignore the horrible cruelty that seemed to zero in on me. The one thing, that to this day stands out, was a graffiti drawing of me (recognizable) on the cutting table that said something along the lines of "even Mr. Clean couldn't get her clean." And that hurt, I knew my body and clothes were clean, but I didn't understand...because not one person had the empathy to talk to me about it.That was a nightmare job, and when I was able to quit in favor of going to a secretarial training program, I was pretty relieved.

About four or five years later, this odor thing popped up again. This time, though, I worked in an office. Again, not one person bothered to ask me what was going on. Instead I got a gift during our open Christmas party gift-giving.....of deodorant and soap. This time I was a little bit luckier, because my supervisor was mortified, even more so when my doctor linked it to some of the chemical and hormonal imbalances I was going through. I was aware of the problem, and thought I had it beat.

But it surfaced yet again in the early nineties. This time, though, I worked with two wonderful and caring women. They had heard the jokes about my "being stinky". They also had heard of a few people who were going to complain to my supervisor. These two women truly disliked what was going on, to them it was a fairness factor. So the two of them made a point of asking me about it one day when we three were working overtime. I'll admit, I cried, I was mortified, and horribly hurt. But I also found a workable strategy for this type of thing. I went directly to my supervisors and discussed it with each of them. Then, I made sure that I always had at least two coworkers I could trust. I asked them to come up with a "code word" to let me know the problem was noticeable. In one office, we had a shower for people who liked to jog at lunch. So I'd take a quick shower on my lunch break. I made sure my clothing was clean, and tried to stay with natural fabric as much as possible. I even kept baby wipes in an emergency kit at my desk.

Because of those two women, I realized that addressing this to someone was excruciatingly difficult...but that it can be done. Not too long after that, I became pregnant. My body chemistry changed all over again. My two wonderful friends even made a point of asking me if I thought the pregnancy had impacted the problem, and I thought it might have, looking back, I know it changed the makeup of my body chemistry. And, in looking back, I recognize that this problem really and truly had little or nothing to do with hygiene. I have not had this come up again for nearly two decades, but, for what it is worth, I know I would handle myself differently. And I also would ask you....if you notice someone with a problem like this, refrain from the easy assumption, the cruel joke, the quick judgment. I know that it is hard to bring up to someone, but the alternative, for them, can be far worse. Just think it over the next time you come across someone in your work or daily life who might not be "fresh as a daisy" and you assume that they have poor hygiene.